Outing Another Agent

At great risk to my own personal freedom and liberty, knowing that I face a long prison sentence on a charge of treason, perhaps even the death penalty, I believe it my duty to conservative republicans everywhere to “out” a covert CIA agent.  With Karl Rove and Scooter Libby as my role models, I feel that for the good of the country, I must alert conservatives everywhere to this clandestine activity before rabid liberals like Ted Kennedy and Mother Teresa (posthumously) can spin this story into an attack on evil-hating Christians the world over. 

Before I name this individual, and since the revelation will come as a shock to many right thinking Americans, I feel it incumbent upon me to present some background information.  The individual in question is of course involved in the story of who illegally leaked that the wife of ambassador Joseph Wilson was a CIA operative.  But Valerie Plame is NOT the CIA operative whom I am about to out.

The list of potential spies is a long one but here’s a short list to whet your appetite.  Who do you think the covert CIA agent is? 

        a)  Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi 

        b)  Iraqi National Congress leader Ahmed Chalabi

        c)  Public relations firm, the Rendon Group

        d)  Reporter Judith MIller

First to that background information.  Those scummy pinhead democrats only think this story is important because it has the potential to embarrass the administration which theoretically used smoke and mirrors to build a house of cards with which to convince the American public that Saddam Hussein had and would use weapons of mass destruction against the U.S. some time in the near to distant future. 

Supposedly, Rove and/or Libby leaked Plame’s name in order to get back at Wilson for writing an op-ed piece suggesting that the Bush administration was manipulating intelligence in order to justify its planned invasion of Iraq.  It seems preposterous to even consider that Rove and Libby would go after Wilson, a career diplomat and a republican, for a silly op-ed piece.  Heck, they’ll let anybody write one of these. 

Why would Rove and Libby bother picking on their own man?  Nowhere in Wilson’s editorial did he cite White House misinformation on those now infamous aluminum tubes which as it turns out were not right size for making bombs.  Neither did Wilson criticize President Bush for making misleading statements linking Saddam Hussein to 911—a link that frustratingly has no basis in fact (but that all FOX viewers know will one day be proven). 

Wilson did not deride the president for stating unequivocally that two Iraqi trailers spotted by satellite intelligence proved that we had “found the WMD.  We found biological laboratories”, as the president proclaimed.  Turns out that the trailers were for producing hydrogen to fill weather balloons. And Wilson even resisted the urge to embarrass the president for his assertion that Saddam was 6 months away from developing a nuclear weapon when he had in reality neither the materials nor the facilities nor the delivery system to do anything of the kind. And all of this before we even didn’t find any WMD.

Why would Rove and Libby go after a man who had shown such restraint?  And I haven’t even mentioned how Wilson didn’t question how much the administration’s WMD evidence was based upon the unquestioned testimony of Ahmed Chalabi’s handpicked Iraqi dissidents.  Now that’s a curious one. 

Everyone knows that Chalabi worked with the CIA to build the case against Saddam Hussein.  But did you know that when Chalabi shopped former Iraqi contractor Abu Muhammad, a.k.a., al Haideri as a witness who had personally seen WMD in Iraq?  His story was channeled to only TWO journalists before he was placed in CIA protective custody?  Mr. Haideri’s testimony has since been completely debunked but at the time, it was considered to have clinched the administration’s case.  

One of the journalists to whom Chalabi gave his story was Paul Moran, a photojournalist who worked with the Rendon group, a P.R. firm with strong ties to the administration, one that was hired by the CIA to put out anti-Hussein propaganda after the first gulf war.  The Center for Media and Democracy among others has wondered publicly whether Mr. Moran did a lot more covert work for the CIA before and after being one of only two reporters given access to al Haideri.  Unfortunately, they can’t ask Mr. Moran.  He was one of the first journalist/agents killed in the Iraq war. 

So who was the other reporter?  Well, wouldn’t you know it, coincidentally, she was one of the only two or three reporters that Rove and Libby shopped the Wilson story to.  That’s right:  Judith Miller, a.k.a., CIA operative, Agent Albatross. 

So how do you like them apples?  In a brilliantly crafted ploy worthy of Carl Rove himself, the CIA has infiltrated the ranks of American journalists who can now be called upon to print any story their clandestine masters deem necessary. They don’t need to rely upon manipulating elections to ensure that their man Allawi gets elected prime minister of Iraq.  They can simply instruct their reporters to write stories implicating his rivals in vote-costing shenanigans. 

And speaking of Middle East elections, remember all those stories about Iran’s new president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad being one of the students who took over the American Embassy back in the late ‘70s?  Well, it turns out he’s not the man in the photo after all.  But the story didn’t do much for his international prestige.  The administration and the CIA couldn’t be happier.  I wonder which undercover CIA reporter wrote that story?   Do you remember hearing an apology when it turned out they had the wrong man?  Nope.

How about when no WMD were found?  Nope again.  The Bush administration doesn’t apologize.  They never admit when they’re wrong.  Not about Iran, not about Iraq.  The beauty of infiltrating the press with CIA operatives is that the administration doesn’t have apologize because they’re not the ones—overtly –slandering their enemies.  And on the rare occasion when someone wants to know who that anonymous source is, they can rest assured that as their agent, Ms. Miller will rot in prison for decades rather than reveal her company sources. 

In fact, she may not even have sources.  She probably just printed some stuff she heard in The Company lunch room. She only went to Rove and Libby to present the appearance of having legitimate sources she’d need to protect. 

So that’s it.  Everyone already knows that Chalabi, Allawi, and the Rendon group are on the CIA payroll.  The only one left to out is New York Times reporter, Judith Miller. So I’m officially outing her.  You heard it here first.  Now we just need to start checking Bill O’Reilley’s credentials. 

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